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I got some new scenes written, with the help of my classes. Things are coming along nicely, which I’m very happy about.

I’m still not sure whether or not I want to make it a novel or a short  story, but I guess I’ll know when I’m meant to. I

I thought things were going to get better, but somehow they’re slowly becoming worse. On top of my already incredibly frail mindset, my grandma has had two strokes, so I’m really stressed and worried about that. School is getting better, but I’m still worried about it, seeing as I don’t know how much the good grade that I have in my current class is going to boost my total gpa. That’s been stressful, but I’m trying not to think about it too much. I have enough to think about and try not to think about and deal with…….

Here it is, two A.M and I can’t sleep. I have to be in up in six hours; at this rate, I may STILL be up at that point. My mind keeps racing, but it’s going so fast that I can’t even tell what any of the thoughts are. I really hope I get a new psychiatrist soon, because I know part of the problem is that my meds need to be increased. It’s been a really long time. In the mean time, I just have to do my best to stay above water, so to speak. I have a few things that keep me going; I just have to put all my energy and focus into those things.

 

For a while, I thought about taking myself off the meds and not going to therapy any more, but in reality, I don;t think that would be a very good idea. No one else seems to either, which i guess is a sure fire sign that I shouldn’t do that. It just gets to tiring; I’ve been taking medicine all my life for various things, and they all give me unpleasant side effects. Plus, with therapy, I just get sick of having to show how I’m really feeling and what I’m really thinking. Most people can read me really well anyway, it’s just a scary thing to have to do on a bi-weekly or tri-weekly basis.

 

I got a little but more writing done, and it’s going in a new direction. It’s not one that I expected, but it’s a good one, so that’s something to be proud of. I’ve been trying to get some autobiography work done, like a memoir, It’s not easy, because I’m not sure what aspect of my life I’d like to focus on, but I’m not giving up.

 

On another note, next term is almost here, in which I will be starting my beginners fiction work shop, and I will also be taking context of writing. I just hope the workshop won’t be too boring, since I’m a little bit past the beginner level. We’ll just have to wait and see, I guess.

I have decided to turn my current novel into a short story, and I have started another short story. I really want to write a novel, and I have an idea in the fantasy genre that I’m hoping I can make pan out.If not, I hope to at least make it into a third short story,

On another note, next term in school I will be starting my first fiction workshop, so I will be writing another full piece (I’m guessing a short story, although I’m not one hundred percent sure as of right now), so I’m hoping that throughout that course I will be able to improve my craft and methods even more.

That’s all for now, but I hope to update again soon.

I don’t even know how many days of this it’s been; it seems like it’s never going to end, no matter what I do. I’m trying my best to focus on school, and the positive things in my life, but it just doesn’t seem to be getting me anywhere.

I’ve begun the second chapter of my novel, and i’ve gotten some really good advice as to how to revise the first chapter. The only problem is that I’ve found myself editing as I go along, which isn’t necessarily a good thing. I’ve got to just write with no boundries, and no expectations of myself. That’s always been my biggest downfall; I’m too hard on myself, in all aspects of my life; I just don’t know how to change it.

This is one stubborn monster. It’s been around for a couple of months, lurking just under the surface. The past week or so, however, it’s decided to come up for some air, and at full force. Luckily I have some things occurring soon in which I can start to get some sort of help; or at least that’s what I hope it will turn out to be.

Next week marks the last week of this class, and I’m a bit worried about ending this one and then starting two new ones, in the midst of my mental state. I’m hoping that i will do well; it will at least give me something else to think about other than my mind. School work has always helped me, even if the social part of it has almost killed me. That’s not the only thing that’s almost killed me though; the mind is a dangerous tool if it doesn’t work right.

Some things in life were just meant to be. It might not be fair, but that’s the way it was; It had to be done. Rory rigidly sat in a tree, looking down at the cabin where a group of college kids had just arrived for a weekend of fun. Oh,it would be fun; his mind raced with excitement, his pulse quickening with each passing minute; just not for them. To the ruthless man, it was a game. A game that never failed to send shivers of pleasure coursing through his body. He had the perfect plan, and it was about to begin.

Riley looked at the cabin with content, excited to be spending a weekend with the best people she had ever known. She wouldn’t trade them for the world; she couldn’t ask for better friends. This was going to be a fun weekend; no homework, no school drama, no annoying professors. Just fun, relaxation and good people. Sighing happily, she picked her book bag and laptop bag up off the ground and looked over her shoulder. Her best friend, John, was still sitting in the driver’s seat of the car. She cast him a worried glance. Ever since John had lost his little sister to suicide, he had slipped further and further into a downward spiral. She hoped this would help him come back to life a bit.

“Hey, are you okay?” John’s face was pale, and he was sweating. His eyes held a far away look; one that frightened Riley more than anything she had ever experienced.

“Im fine. Just….spaced out, sorry. ” John knew something was off about this place, but he wasn’t sure what it was; yet. He hoped he wouldn’t have to find out.

Rory worked best with a plan. He was a genius, but as with all humans, he sometimes made mistakes. He could not allow that to happen this time; there was too much at stake. It had been two years since he went off the radar….two years too long, if you asked him.  He needed to get back into the game. His blood tingled with excitement at the thought of what he would do to those college do-gooders. They had already lost so much, but it was just the beginning. They would soon find out just how cruel and unfair life really was. They were the enemy, and they had to be eliminated. First, though, he must get them to tell him what they knew…..no matter what it took.

John and Riley looked around the cabin, half in awe, half filled with excitement. From the outside, it didn’t look anywhere near this size. The walls of the main room were wood-paneled, the floor was also wood, with several native american looking rugs covering it. In one corner, there was a bookshelf stocked full of various genre’s of literature, and in the opposite corner was a gorgeous oak desk with a matching chair. Most surprisingly, a new looking laptop sat on the desk, open and running. There was a sign above it that read “for guest use, don’t abuse it”. Off of the main room there were two other bedrooms, a large kitchen and a medium-sized bathroom.

“This is peaceful. It’s going to be an amazing weekend”. Riley smiled and embraced John in a huge bear-like hug.

Meanwhile, Adrianna and Phillip were still at the car, getting their stuff out of the trunk.

“It’s so pretty out here, isn’t it?” Phillip was taking in his surroundings, in awe of the peacefulness and beauty that the city didn’t own.

“Yeah it is,” Adrianna muttered unconvincingly. She had a bad feeling about this place, like john, but she couldn’t put her finger on exactly what it was or why. She hoped she was just being paranoid; they needed this weekend to be fun and carefree.

The rain began to fall, and John, Dri and Phillip were all sitting in the main room, watching a movie together. Riley was asleep; she hadn’t been feeling well. Stress, they all thought. It was nearly eight o’clock, and darkness crept in like a lion stalking its prey.  As the three friends were trying to figure out what to do for the evening, Riley padded into the room, looking scared and sick at the same time.

“Guys, there’s someone outside, lurking around”. Her face was pale, and her breath was beginning to hitch, as if she were going to break down at any given time.